Sunday, 20 February 2011

If It Works......?

And so I did manage to predict exactly what would happen. Blogged in jest..... Set in stone. From the cyber dimension to the concrete one. .....Or is it? Let's not start that again.

I had mapped out my non-productive evening to the minutest detail. Once I'd got the mini men things to sleep, of course I conked out myself and, as feared, had noone else in the house to slap me conscious again and ...... that was that. I did wake up at nearly midnight, got one leg out of the covers, and zonked again. Regained slits of sight in the wee small hours with the lights still on, my glasses at an Eric Morcombe angle and a vague sense of guilt. Sorted out the light and the glasses. Silenced the nagging by flicking the over-ride button of apathy and went back to numbland.

Now one might think that this extra sleep would have me springing out of bed the next morning all perky. Ohhhh no. Early nights always do me in. Crawled out of the pit late and wasted the rest of the morning being all zombiefied. Surveyed the devastation around me with an uninterested eye and staggered out of the house to pick up Minx - late. Despite my outta-time-keeping I stayed there while Minx pretended I hadn't arrived at all and had a cup of tea and a natter with MY friend (chum's mum) for another hour and a half before heading over to my mum's 'for lunch'. Well, it was already half past one but I reckoned I could remember the way.......

Not bad for me. Negotiated all the twisty turnies in the torrentials with Streetdance 3D Soundtrack blaring. Never take a big straight road when several pot-holed snakey ones will do. And certainly never listen to anything serene and pleasant. No No No. Journeys should always be an adventure extremo of the eyes, ears and clutch control thigh.

I knew lunch still wouldn't be ready when we got there. I know my family.

But we're definitely going to leave while it's still light.

Got home a little before ten.

And dribbled off to sleep with the boys again. My life is so exciting. And yes, predictable. Like my rambling.

But this time I do have someone else in the house to wake me up and make me a cup of hippy dippy, scatter chocolate mints before me leading the way back to the crunchy duvet-smothered settee and insist that I watch Carry On Camping with her. Albeit peering through pillars of Lego. Yay for family life after all eh? Yay for unsinkable daughters.

And now today I really do have the boys' room mountain to climb. And the living room jungle to chop through. And kids to feed? Damn. I wonder if I ignore it all for long enough it'll all sort itself out. It worked for breakfast - Little Rock Godling just made scrambled eggs for us all. Well apart from Minx - she's still in bed but it's only twenty to midday...... Maybe she'll wake up hungry enough and make us all lunch. Stranger things HAVE happened.

Maaaybeee if I manifest my day's desires strongly enough - they will occur. Rules of the universe like. OK - I need some big black binliners to float up to the boys' room and devour it. Then I need all the Lego to leap into the blue box with happy little yippees. Pasta would be good. Everlasting sellotape to finish the scrapbooks all neat and like I don't do it in real life. Cushions and blankets to drape and decorate the settees of filth so we can sit in them again without fear. Firm believer in what you don't see doesn't hurt you. And moles, mice and carpet mites Be Gone!!! That humming sound is me imagining that suckky thing..... um ... hover? Haver? Oh Hoover! That's the one.......

Sighhhhhh........ Now I shall just sit back and wait. I'll let you know when we're done.

Excuse me now as I've got some important scratching to do. I'm sure I bought a newspaper the other day..........

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