Monday, 1 November 2010

Bewitched, Buggered and Bewildered

We had fun!

We had fun in The hated Village of Hairshirt Hypocrisy I think I've mentioned before.

We made cakes. It's what nice people do.

Not overly certain if nice people also bundle straight into the hostess's kitchen demanding teaspoons to finish decorating their offering but I think we got away with it. Fairy cakes of varying sizes (due to scavenging cake cases of varying sizes from the bottom of the rusting tin whilst swearing and blaming the government), gratuitously smothered in orange and green goo with a liberal and democratic smattering of Skittles. They looked just darling nestling in amongst the pumpkin soup and carob brownies. I thought so. Didn't look so good smeared on the cream cushions I'll admit but the horrified faces were just SO right for Halloween. Just the right spirit.

We did that demanding stuff for no good reason thing too. What's that phrase? Something By Menaces. That's what someone cleverer than me said anyway. We had quite a gang of kidlets all looking dead spooky-cool banging on doors like Special Branch. And Thuglet - slightly grumpy face squidged into a fluffy dinosaur 'bonnet' thing and a tail. Boldly accessorizing a nice cardigan. Very funny indeed. And being The Village....... one of the delightful little spooklets politely asked of the proffered cake 'Is it vegan?' Not 'Cake - yay!' or even 'Where's the proper sweets?' like any other kid. Strange how noone but me thought this was hilarious. Quickly converted my gutter-emptying guffaw into a stage cough.

Back at the party, all my boys were a huge hit on the dancefloor. All those Michael Jackson moves impressed the locals. Money bloody well spent those classes. Damn fine show. Damn fine party to be sure. Little Rock Pumpkin won Musical Statues and Musical Cushions. Probably due to something by menaces too...... Those Skittles are really kicking in now. I think I'm getting signals that it's time to go home.....

Slipping into the car a little while later, it all kicked off. Of course. 'You stole my lolly!' 'No I saw your lolly fall out your bag into a puddle. A really muddy one!' 'Haven't you got enough bloody lollies in that freaky ghost head already?' 'That was my FAVOURITE lolly!' 'I'm NOT having this all the way home!' Devil Mother turns up the stereo and knocks her horns awry. Now looks even more demonic. 'Give - me - MY - L O L L Y !!!!!' 'AAaaarrrrggghhhhh!!!!!' ....variations on a theme carried us all the way home. I always notice that the more fun my Monster-Brats have, the more bastard-like they are afterwards. Every time. The Hammer Car of Horror.

By the time I'm slunking into my own settee like an empty treat bag, back in my own familiar smells and sticky patches, I felt the urgent need for cucumber and carrots. We'd consumed so much carb, sugar, E numbers, MSG etc over the weekend I had to balance the books somehow. One carrot stick did the trick tho'. Back to business...... Chocolate eyeball anyone?

It's almost as exhausting as bloody Xmas.

But without the new slippers.


  1. The yin and yang of having fun eh!

    Great post, missus. Have you any spare skittles; it's ages since I've had a bag?

  2. Hilarious as ever. I've missed it. The Hammer Car of Horror!! And loved the 'But without the new slippers' sign off.

    My son did a Halloween hurl.

    Round our way, there were accompanying Dads dressed up as German SS Officers - allegedly. I didn't actually see any.

  3. Blimey!!!!!

    PS Hello babe! Lovely to hear from you. I REALLY must catch up with my blog-reading - still haven't managed to for weeks. Just not right.

    Hey T@ - never a fan on them myself....until this weekend. Now I must have MORE M O R E M O R E !!!!!!! N'YA HA HAAAAAAAA.....

  4. VEGAN?!!!

    No more choc till Christmas please.... or possibly Easter...

  5. BTW can I carve your pumpkin tonight??? I'm havin a shindig...

  6. Munch away my darling! I'm throwing my once pert orange delights, now demonic warped grotesques onto the bonfire - who needs to spend more energy making a guy.... Anyway - difficult to wrench old clothes out of my grasp as I'm still wearing them.