Saturday, 5 December 2009

Is there anyone else out there as crap as me at reading important information? I see buzz words like 'Badman', 'unauthorised overdraft', 'court summons' etc and I do try but after about 3 words in.......zzzzzzzzz I have to have everything explained to me in words of one syllable - with glove puppets. I have screens of e-mails I daren't delete because they have intelligent-looking data that I might just read all the way through tomorrow. Is there a ism-y word for people like me (assuming there are other such) - something I can wear like a Christmas jumper - a license to excuse backwards behaviour?

I do kind of want to be grown-up but can't concentrate on it long enough to actually manage it.
Worse than simply being simple I have now leapt on the fast train to Turning-into-my-Mother well before it was time to leave Truculent Youth, entirely skipping Confident Adulthood. Thank god I have a couple of nearly-as-tall-as-me sproglets to remind me now and then that I'm supposed to be somewhere in an hour and can we have lunch - and shouldn't we get diesel now even though it's not completely past the dial 'cos remember what happened last time - and did I remember the baby etc...

I like to think that it's all part of their education. I certainly don't spoon-feed them anything that may be construed as being intellectual. Life skills - that's what it is.

Hoping to erase a familiar expression off my daughter's face I tried to explain that this is the worst bit for me - when I know that I am hopeless, irrational, forgetful blah blah and how she should treasure this time because the bit when I wee in my shoes and hi-jack prams and deny all knowledge of my family is going to be even more tiresome for her - bliss for me however.

I think I just weed in my shoes.


  1. you are so right. this is the pleasure time, goddammit.

    we deal with the unwanted instrusions on our daily life of bliss by not opening the envelopes. that is a good strategy. and it has heightened my senses: i can now whiff out the letters threatening court summons and debt collection still sealed.

  2. Yes - if you don't see it it can't prey on your mind. A very large bird of prey snatched my last sensible thought years ago so anything else trying to prey on that part of my anatomy would be leaving hungry. As the mind has dwindled however, the arse has made a mighty bid for world domination.

  3. Ooh, I just took advantage of a day off work, when I'm supposed to be getting ready for a fab family Chrimbo ;) to deal with weeks of unopened mail... I ended up wrecking my left thumb with an under-nail paper cut (severe, bled profusely).

    Dealing with post is bad for the health, I swear.

    Adore the blog, you may be as mad as me! Found you chez Waffling - Mwah!