Tuesday, 8 March 2011


Minx to Me: Can you think of a girl's name beginning with 'H'?

Me to Minx: Whatcha doin'?

Minx to Me: Writing a book.

Me to Minx: Uhh really?

Minx to Me: Yeah shall I read it to you so far?

Me to Minx: Uhhhh OK...

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Minx to Me: Whatdya think?

Me to Minx: It's brilliant. But like how come you just go and like DO it and it's like BRILLIANT and I'm supposed to be the one making you pick up a pen on pain of death and like I'm slumped here glarin' at shite on the telly 'cos I'm like too exhausted to move and you just go and bloody DO it and it's BRILLIANT and I'm so crap and you're so fab and I just want to give up on life altogether and be staked out to a tree to feed the crows..... and you just DO it!!!! You couldn't have made me feel more shit about myself if you'd planned it. I'm going to die miserable and leave you nothing to think kindly of. I'm as obselete as a discarded nail clipping. I'm using up your oxygen for no reasonable return. You have hammered the final nail in the coffin of my self-worth. I am futile. I am already a corpse. I am a fetid pustule on the arse of death. I am withered. I am nothing.... Did I say that out loud? Yes it's brilliant darling.

Minx to Me: Well I thought I'd take a break from the film script for a while.

Bloody 'ell!!!!!!!!!

Me to Minx: Shouldn't you be in bed?


  1. See what you have given her? Space and time to write what she thinks and feels and write it like a true scriptwriter or novelist. Not every mummy does that you know...can I give you a big slap and a gold star to remind you of that?!!!!!

  2. Agree with parasombra - every genius has a mother running behind them doing their washing. We live through our children....but it's a bit galling when they produce brilliance effortlessly!

  3. Ok...I'm waiting for the brilliance.

    I've even got my shades on ready to be blinded.

    Hurry up! You've got an emotionally dependent mother here with everything riding on your hidden genius.

    Er...is there an expiry date on brilliance? Or is it like those potatoes you leave in the dark under-stairs cupboard and next time you look they've turned into slightly smelly gangly plants winding in between the light bulbs and vacuum cleaner?

    Trish said "Agree with parasombra - every genius has a mother running behind them doing their washing".

    Yeah every time I see yet another brilliant young male novelist I think 'Ha! I bet you don't do your own washing'

  4. She does sometimes do her own washing.

    But let's face it. She still can't fold. I can hang on to that. The folding is mine!!! MINE!!!!!!

    Oh - just got the slap! Thanks. I needed that.

    I'll get me shades and shut up.