Wot wiv all my ranting of late, I forgot to announce the recent demise of ....What-was-its-bloody-name.
The fish thing. Minx's fishy. Fishy..... Hhhhhh....
It did have a name to start, which has slipped my goldfish bowl brain. But being a fish of very little brain itself, it soon began to gather as many pseudonyms as ... well, me. (I have a diff mon for every blinkin' thing I do. Easier that way. Leave no trail....)
It got fat very quickly. So obviously got called Fat Fucker. It kept pretending to be dead - always floating upside down near the surface. So I started calling it Harold (as in And Maude). Little Rock Godling called it Max. Which was quite funny as it was at its Max weight. He also called his own fish Max. When Thuglet finally got 2 tiny minnows to go in the orb, he called them Max too. Minx called it many interesting girl kinda names. So interesting I can't remember a single one. Mr GPants called it every name under the sun. He was the one who had to keep scooping it out and feeding it peas. It spent its last few days back in solitary. Just him and the peas. With a bit of plant stuff for entertainment. (A bit like childhood of old really). This then earned him a new name - the Cooler King.
And now The King has left the building.
Last Sunday, during a break in the torrentials, Minx skipped out into the garden and dug him a little grave, laid him to rest and scattered flowers. 'Done it.' Back on Facebook. Sorted.
We all felt compelled to make it into a bit more of a ceremony. Got to give the little sod a proper send off. I've presided over many a fishy funeral before. Student days. We had a viking burial, a funeral pyre, a trebuchet-style launching.... Come on. Crocs on. All stood round. 'Anyone know a fishy song?' LRG put his hands together all holylike. Dunno who's house he's got that from. Must've been on Spongebob.
Mr GPants started 'Who shall have the fishy...' ohh-ooh good one! 'On the little dishy...' Altogether now - 'Who shall have the fantail when the boowat cooms in?'
LRG sweetly sang '12345 once I caught a fish alive...' And Thuglet sang 'Happy Birthday'. All very fitting. Then we took pictures of our feet around the graveside. Then we started fighting over the camera. Then I went inside and slammed the door.....
One down, 4 to go.